Tag Archives: self love

My Body Image Homework

Again, Happy NEDA Awareness week everyone! I realized I missed blogging about athletes day yesterday (easily one of the most relatable of the themed days for me), but I still participated by hanging more posters:

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Girl’s locker room at the university gym!

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Boy’s locker room at the university gym… I had to have a male identifying person hang it up for me, I think the urinals are super close to the door, so I felt odd about going in…

In light of continuing eating disorder awareness, I wanted to share today’s entry from the 31 Day Journaling Challenge from the Art of Manliness. And, to be fair, I’m kind of cheating. Today’s prompt, day 18, wasn’t something I felt I could fully relate to. I mean, like building things, and I still love Legos, but I wasn’t feeling planning a project like I’m going to take over The New Yankee Workshop next week.

Sorry, Norm.

I decided to then take inspiration from a new podcast I stumbled across this morning, Fearless Rebelle Radio. This podcast is all about improving body image, disassociating image from self worth, and neat feminist rants. I’ve only heard two episodes so far, plus a guest episode Summer did on Progress not Perfection (another good podcast to check out), but I’m so glad I stumbled across it.

Summer talked about to write down five things that would be different if you were cool with your body. My five came really fast.

  1. Going to the gym without wearing a baggy university sweat shirt over your tank top.
    Pretty simple. I’m kind of getting over this a bit already. Sometimes its a legitimate “I’m cold because the Weight Room is a drafty old 80s gym” but a lot of the time I’m feeling insecure about how I look.
  2. Wearing a bikini in public with confidence.
    I’ve worn one a couple times but just felt like hiding the whole day.
  3. Having pictures taken of you in a bikini. 
    See #2.
  4. Wearing a crop top in public.
    Crop tops are SO SO SO cute, especially with high waisted shorts! I’m always quite jealous of the girls who wear them because they have the confidence to do so.
  5. Wearing a slimming gym outfit to the gym.
    Guh, I have this weird rule in my head about wearing a baggy shirt, with tight shorts OR a tight shirt, with leggings or pants. So “slimming” in this context means a tight shirt AND shorts.

The second part of this exercise was do three of the above things! Since swim suit season is a while away with projected snow this weekend, I’m going to go for #1, 4, and 5. The crop top thing could be iffy too, but when spring gets warmer I’ll do that. I’m getting pretty excited!

I will blog about these when they occur, and detail my thoughts. Make sure you check out the podcasts, and I’d love to hear your 5 body image things!

Hair on point. :)

Hair on point. 🙂

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Filed under ED Recovery, Health, Journaling, Mental Health, Project Enrichment, Writing

A Year Ago…

Doesn’t everyone?

Trying not to beat myself too hard on this one, but I learned first hand recently what sticking to a habit does to you. An old coworker/friend of mine had her yogi-anniversary this past week. She posted on Instagram some really inspiring photos about her mobility. She started as a complete beginner, in fact I was the one who helped encourage her to take up this habit, and I’m quite proud of her progress!

But of course, in terms of the “you can’t have nice things” point-of-view, I am beating myself up for not sticking with a practice so consistently. I am aware this is not a positive mindset. But I can’t let this wake-up-call go to waste. I just need to figure out how to positively apply this energy into not self-loathing, but self-loving behavior.

I started this 31 day journal challenge from the Art of Manliness and yesterday was the third day. Day three reads:

Decide on one positive habit you’d like to implement in your life. Whether seemingly mundane (like flossing) or perhaps life-altering (exercising every day), think of something you’d like to add to your life that will be beneficial. Then, think about the steps you’ll take to get there, and how you’ll keep yourself accountable.

Well, this seems like a no-brainer.

This coming week is my meet-prep week. I’m going to be lifting light, doing a lot of walking, and mobility work. I can’t think of a better time to try a daily yoga practice since I won’t be tired from lifting. I just downloaded the HabitBull app to keep me on track. I am aware that it takes 66 days to form a new habit. But maybe a week of daily practice will show me the benefits of doing some every day, thus encouraging me to do more. I just did a great standing poses routine for 25 minutes. I’ll report back on what else happens!

I want to be able to do this.

In other news, I finally joined the three-plate club. Deadlifted 315 this past week. Wow. WOW. I can’t believe it still. There was a slight hiccup when I staggered forward–wouldn’t have cleared the judges, but I still got it on raw strength. I tested bench earlier in the week and I got an unpaused 145. That’s pretty much what I expected there. Squat today–aiming for an unwrapped 275. Let’s see how that goes!

(Also, it goes without saying, I’m watching a LOT of Sailor Moon.)

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Filed under Project Enrichment, Workout, Yoga

Here I Am, Plus Yoga

I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few days on what it means to be me. This long weekend, at the first opportunity to jump back on the me-ness train, I did.

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Goodbye hair!

I got a pixie cut and donated 8 inches of my hair in order to get back to my roots, my more authentic self. The hair was a blending-in mechanism, make me like everyone else so I don’t stand out, don’t make any big waves.

But you know what, fuck that. Fuck stifling my voice, dampening my spirit and not being honest with everyone-including me. I got new nose rings, a shit ton of cheap jewelry at Claire’s and admitted to myself some important things about my own human nature.

I have friends again who aren’t bad for me. I have a lover who supports me 100 percent. I am growing beyond my self imposed prisons.

Deep breath. Release.

Good.

Now to the yoga!

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Second week of the yoga challenge did not go as planned (when does life)? My wellness center had free yoga classes all this week and I missed all of them. I had an appointment with a mobility trainer for 30 min, but I didn’t want to just count that as my yoga. So on Saturday night, I realize that I had not done a lick of yoga.

So I took out a new yoga anatomy book (I love anatomy books, never seen one like this!) and did the sequence they recommended for tight hips. Holy smokes, a full pigeon is practically impossible at this point, but I’m getting there. I didn’t get my full 30 minutes, but I did do as much as I could before midnight rolled around. I know I will get it this week!

In the land of podcasting, the GoodTrash Genre Cast covered 2014’s abysmal, yet fun, “I, Frankenstein.”

No, they don’t just turn into iPods and defeat the demon horde.

 

Speaking of demons and the afterlife, our “Nightbreed” episode has dropped, if you’re interested in crazy monsters and homoerotic subtext. Arthur blows it out of the water with his Queer theory reading, check it out for sure.

This coming Sunday, we’re recording “The Interview” after a fun communal watch after our “I, Frankenstein” show.

Finally, some reading for you that I picked up this Monday.

The New York Times discussed the power of writing to alleviate chronic stress, anxiety, and a host of physical ailments. I feel that’s what’s going on in this blog, so I must continue it!

A MyFitnessPal blogger discusses how to set good exercise goals. #8, Forgive Your Slip Ups, is super helpful for my tiny error on Saturday. I know I’m going to become more consistent in this yoga practice.

Roomie and I have been watching A LOT of Sailor Moon.

Calm determination.

Let me know your thoughts, goals, and dreams!

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Filed under Adventures, Goals, Health, Likes, Mental Health, Movies, Podcast, Project Enrichment, Yoga