Category Archives: bro

Power-loving

All the sweating and straining, all the anxiety and fears, everything brought me to this past weekend. I had a fantastic meet this past Saturday and Heath had an equally fantastic meet on Sunday. I am quite proud of our performance.

The night before, on Friday, Heath gave me his Valentine’s Day gifts. A dozen roses, a Steam giftcard, a box of peanut butter chocolate poptarts and (name brand) Pedialyte. Now I know the last two seem strange for Valentine’s Day gifts, but basically they were two gifts with my meet in mind. I weighed in, making my weight class. I then needed to carb up a bit, hence the poptarts, and replenish my electrolytes, hence the Pedialyte.

We arrive at the meet on Valentine’s Day after rules are done, and during the curls. After some anxieties about a missing singlet and forgetting the rest of my Pedialyte, I get on the platform and do my opener for squat. I went three-for-three attempts on squat, and my final squat was 264.55 pounds. Heath said it looked beautiful, and that I didn’t seem to have any major form breakdown, which is very impressive considering its a PR for me! My strategy of practicing squat with a pause at the beginning and end has worked wonders, as I have a terrible habit of missing commands.

Next was bench, and after the flights of bench I get my opener with ease, and my second attempt of 137.79. I go for a third at 143, and miss it. It was right where my triceps fail every single time. Marcin, on my team, told me how to “break the bar” with my grip so I can power through that sticking point. I am still very satisfied with a 137.79 bench because it is a meet PR, versus a gym PR.

Lastly, was deadlift. There’s always a ridiculously long break between bench and deadlift because mostly everyone wants to bench. I chugged a lot of preworkout for the deadlift flight. I opened at 10 pounds heavier than my October meet’s deadlift which was 230 something, and my opener was in the bag. I got 270 for a second, which was a PR for my meet performance.

Upon urging (one lady lifter told me “go and put some weight on that bar–that was too light!), everyone told me to lift 314.16and I got it. This is a 64 lb improvement from last year! Deadlift performance anxiety has killed my past meets, and I just obliterated my deadlift in this past meet. I’ve never gone near the end of a deadlift flight before. I just channeled every strong bad-ass fictional woman character I could think of (Mulan, Legion Commander and Phantom Assassin from DOTA, Alanna from the Lionness Quartet, and my own Dungeons and Dragons characters) and PULLED THAT WEIGHT.

“BE A MAN!”

Overall, I added 100 pounds to my total since last year yielding me an 8/9 performance and 716.50 raw total. I outsquatted myself from October by 10 pounds, and I was using knee wraps at the time. I missed no commands this time, and only missed my bench because it was heavy.

In my mind, there was not a single thing that could improve my overall performance, besides the bench miss. I’m not even bitter about the bench because I still got that deadlift.

I got a small trophy, and was able to act as Heath’s coach on Saturday. He went 9/9 and got a trophy too! Our school’s team also won first place for mixed powerlifting teams.

There’s going to be a meet in my town in April that I’m probably going to skip lifting at. I’d like to get trained as a referee by that point so that I could help and participate out since it’ll be only a mile from my house. I’m looking at a lifting at a Texas meet in June or July that’s the Women’s Nationals for my federation. Heath said that he’s probably going to do a different event for our October meet–I think he said power press (power clean and bench press). I might do powersports sometime (strict curl, bench, and deadlift), or maybe join him on power press.

Regardless of records, trophies, events, and logistics, I killed it. I’ve not been this proud of myself in a long time. Here’s to getting stronger!

Thanks for reading.

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Silver Linings

I would be lying to say this week has not been a challenge. Monday was the worst–my roommate’s case of the flu was confirmed (poor thing) and I’ve been  staying at a friend’s house, one of my podcast co-hosts, D1. This was so I could sleep (our townhome’s walls are quite thin) and so I would not be infected.

My anxiety about getting the flu got so dastardly, I went to our health clinic to get a flu test done. I don’t have the flu. Yay! But, in my hasty celebration, I shove my wallet in my pocket. A couple hours later, when I cannot find it, I realize it’s gone–as in lost permanently.

No, this is not as bad as one of my favorite podcaster’s stories where he loses his bag which contains his passport, iPad, laptop, 3DS, and all his possessions in a crowded Tokyo train station at rush hour. No, it’s definitely not as as bad as that. And while that does make me feel better, it’s still problematic. I cancel all my cards, and realize that pretty much everything in there is replaceable, and keep going with my week.

The first silver lining to this whole debacle is that I start talking to D1’s new girl friend, R, on the phone while I was over at his house, and mildy tipsy on Tequila. She’s one of the sweetest, smartest people I’ve met in a long time. D1 is gaga, and who can blame him, honestly? Do you remember the last time you talked on the phone with a gal pal of yours for an hour and felt totally comfortable? I don’t. That may be because that’s never happened to me before, ever. I hope we can meet in person soon.

Another silver lining, unrelated to the flu and wallet thing, is that I pulled a 245 5×5 deadlift, followed by 275 for a triple. 275 is a PR, and considering I got it for three feels almost surreal. I was so focused on getting that weight, that I didn’t notice until I got home that it was my first time getting that, ever. But, I got it for three. Incredible. Couple of my PL guys put some great tweaks in my form and approach, and I think at this point, this lift is going to skyrocket.

Needless to say I’m sore. And I’m tired. Had an interesting talk last night with H. We really discussed some valuable things, and I think our relationship is only going to improve. While that cloud darkened the horizon of my mind for a while, the fact that we are enjoying the sun right now speaks to the potential longevity of our relationship. We’re going to start up our little tiny Book Club again, and I’ve picked the selection. My Risk, Policy, and Law class assigned the first two chapters of Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk, which sounds extremely dry, but I LOVED it.

Probably the best silver lining of all this week was that my faith in humanity was restored. Someone turned my wallet into the police station, and I got EVERYTHING back yesterday. It was in front of a building I never walk in front of. The world will never know on that one.

Last, but not least, here’s some great reading that’s been keeping me going this week:

“Why Don’t I Look Like Her? A Guide to Stop Comparing” I’m pretty bad about this, but I’m beginning to love my body for how I’ve improved and look. This was a pretty helpful read. I might have goals for my physique, but I’m starting to learn to love the process.

“Taking Care of Yourself When You Feel Like Shutting Down” This got me through Monday. Self care is paramount, and no amount of self flagellation will return a wallet to you.

“Get Your Hair Wet Activity” I love this idea! I really want to do it. It’s kind of like a love letter to yourself almost. Here’s from the site:

“A creative way to catalog all the upcoming adventures you’ll have is to keep them safe and tidy in a decorated mason jar. Each time you get out of your comfort zone or try something new, write it down on a strip of paper place it inside your jar. You can even color-code your memories — red for a time you spoke up, blue for a time you faced your fears, purple for learning a new skill — you get the idea! At the end of the year you can empty out the memories and bask it all the ways you got your hair wet and feel proud to be you.

I love that proud to be me part. I am learning how to be, slowly.

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Filed under Adventures, Books, bro, Friends, H, Health, Likes, School, Workout

Hello New Friends, New Lifelines (Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, Part Three)

May trigger–be careful, friends. 

I must say, I was surprised to see so many new people interact with my blog after that last post! I am truly honored you want to read this outlet from me. Welcome, then, to the new faces and welcome back to those who were already following.

…I hope this entry doesn’t scare you off.

I need to talk about my eating disorder recovery. It’s a heavy topic, but I need to address it since half of my blog’s title is inspired by my recovery story. I’m putting the rest of this under a cut because I don’t want anyone to read this who may be hurt by it.

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Right Here, Right Now

I’ve found that a certain calmness has crept into my spirit as of late. The act of actively doing nothing is a powerful force to be reckoned with. Assimilating your expectations to a fixed point. That fixed point is the target of that activity that receives all of your attention. Then, once complete, move on to the next task.

I’ve obviously had quite a meditative Wednesday.

Besides having good lifts the past couple of days (deload was the week prior, so we’re finally making upward progress again), I’m starting to reach a more consistent contentment with myself. It is a feeling of quietness amidst noise that I’ve never experienced before.

H and I aren’t doing the same program for the first time in our co-lifting history. I’m enjoying the sensation as well as what it symbolizes: that I am growing into my own as a female lifter. I am beginning to feel comfortable enough to mention to people in real life that I lift weights and it is an empowering feeling.

Can it be that the dust is finally settling? Starting from the beginning of college, it seems like I got hit with by the garbage truck called “change.” From moving out to my parent’s divorce, as well as my own eating disorder, things have been tumoiltous. But now, it isn’t like that. States of flux happen but they have patterns of order.

I read somewhere that randomness is merely a human concept. There is a pattern to everything if you just look…

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And the whey tastes like sand…

Okay, okay, my personal whey doesn’t taste completely like sand…just mildly banana flavored sand. H’s, however, does taste like what would happen if you put milk and topsoil in a blender bottle and called it “chocolate flavor.”

We decided to be adventurous this time around, ordering from a really good site that does custom protein blends. The blend we picked out was only ~$25 for five pounds, which is pretty much unheard of. It’s this blend called “Invigorate” that was only fiveish dollars per pound. It is a mix of pea protein, casein, and egg whites.

H’s mom tries to get us to buy Shaklee, which is nearly impossible on a college student budget due to the price. However, we’ve make this unconscious competition with her that we can get a company with just as good ethics as Shaklee does but not the aforementioned company. It would be neat if True Nutrtition could help us win that bet.

Shaklee’s big selling point is that it is “all natural.”  H says the Invigorate must be good for us otherwise it wouldn’t taste so awful, to which I can agree. It would be neat if we could get some free Shaklee out of this deal…

We will see what it does to our gains. I’ll keep you posted.

(Link here if interested in the Invigorate)

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Filed under bro, Supplements, Workout

Let’s see if you can squat your way out of this one (part 2): Sunday

The reason why this series of posts are entitled “Let’s see if you can squat your way out of this one” is because on Sunday the greatest thing happened.

I got my mom to let me show her how to lift.

We went to her local community center and into the weight room, which was well stocked for how shabby it looked on the outside. I got some recommendations from H on what to show her and, of course, he responded with the typical ex-/fit”Do ss faggot”, which is a prominent meme on the ‘chan.

However, more true advice was never said. Keep in mind, I’m not a personal trainer by any means. I’ve really only started lifting again, this time seriously, since January and off-and-on for about a year. H was right though whenever he said helping someone else with their lifts helps your own form.

My mom has great form and understands the principles of breathing already (which was and is half the battle with me). Some things I would say to her she would respond to with “Oh, well, I figured that out.” She really is a natural with this.

My mom keeps on wanting to lose that stubborn extra five pounds that she’s gained since dating C and I don’t think she understands that just being a cardiobunny is going to make her drop that weight.

Maybe if she just lifted heavy once a week? Once a week, with weights going up. My thing is, as I was saying to H last night, lifting seriously doesn’t seem like something you can be too casual with. Or maybe you can, but I just haven’t discovered how yet.

But, just for form purposes, this is what I had mom do (all with bar weight):

3×5 squats

3×5 ohp

1×5 dead lift

3×5 bench

1×5 row

Anyone have any suggestions for motivating her to trying it more consistently? H said mentioning weight would and should be motivation enough but it really never is. I know my own mother. She’s a hard worker but it takes her getting her to want it first.

So besides doing demo lifts on this day, I still needed to catch up on my vanity day (abs…always abs) which consisted of 5×20 crunch and leg extensions. Mum and I then went to play basketball for awhile. After that, we traveled to Whole Foods and got brunch, went to Barnes and Noble, then she took me back to my town.

We also “Sherlock”ed that night, which was wonderful. H really liked it and I cannot wait for next week’s episode.

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Stuffed Crust

Just...stuffed.

For starters, it is only barely ten A.M. and I would shove this pizza in my face. As much as I love traditional breakfast food, I would and could eat just about anything for breakfast. And believe me, I have. Leftover chimichanga? Probably not my best decision, but that didn’t stop me.

Unfortunately, my previously iron stomach has been simply eating itself  lately as I’ve been having to take two to three servings of Tums per day, typically after meals. Okay, I definitely derailed my train of thought there. I don’t just post about stuffed crust pizza in my blog, regardless of how delicious it looks.

I just wanted to let the world know about a brand new use of the word “stuffed crust.”

Stuffed crust is the word H and I use for our aesthetics in a certain department–specifically legs. Examine the picture again.

Now think of veiny, muscle laden legs with a smidge of padding on them from your post-bulk season. Similarities?

Murdertown just stuffs my crust. Yesterday was the beginning of our “3” week from 5/3/1 model and, more specifically, front squats. The ball joints in my hips will probably never be the same from this.

Besides our FS, on our workout plate we had presses, dumbbell rows, shoulder presses, and sit ups.

Unfortunately for my workout, I had a serious difficulty getting out of my own head until about the last set of my dumbbell rows.  This is due to the fact that there was some resolution to some ex-boyfriend drama and I’m still quite unsure about how I feel about the whole situation. I had been harboring this dead weight of guilt for how things turned out for so long that I didn’t know how to manage with that burden gone…therefore my generalized anxiety got pretty cranked.

But you know what? It is going to be okay.

I have to remember that.

Also, regular squats on Wednesday (tomorrow). My legs will go from stuffed crust to stuffed cheesy bread. You know the monstrous creation. Domino’s developed it, essentially guaranteeing that one could overdose with cheese.

Overdose on squats? Yes please.

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Sunday Doldrums

The only things that have gotten me out of the Sunday Doldrums, my phrase for a really intense depression that miraculously activates on Sundays, are three fold today:

1) Had a great morning with H. We made breakfast sandwiches and watched goofy cartoons in our pjs.

2) Finished my paper for my blogwriting class, last assignment of the year in there.

and, finally…

3) NEW LEMON DEMON SONG  AND, wait for it, IT’S FROM A PROJECTED NEW ALBUM.

Oh Neil…Neil, Neil, Neil…you just turn all my frowns upside down.

Also, yesterday H and I incorporated a new day into our lifting routine called “Vanity Day.” Basically, we do exercises just for aesthetics for a specific body part we want to look good. Yesterday, he was a curl-bro and I was an ab-bunny. Because it is supposed to technically be a rest day, we consider vanity day as a reward for a week of good exercising. Then, I also spent a third of my rent money on supplements…

Yikes.

Oh well. Investing in one’s self is a good habit to have, especially since this is only going to decrease health problems for us down the road.

Hope your Sunday is treating you well! Mine always improves after I write a little bit…very cathartic.

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New Routine

I know why I’m so tired today.

Besides the obvious reason being going to bed at 3 A.M. and my body deciding that it’s a good idea to wake up at 7 A.M.

Besides the other reason that I thought it was a good idea to rearrange my bedroom after I decided I couldn’t sleep–for four hours.

I wanted a nap at 10:30. That usually tells how the rest of my day goes.

However, my day, or rather my week is going well because of our new routine we have started. H calls it “Murdertown.” Yesterday, routine consisted of 3 warm up sets of squats, then squats to failure. Then 5×10 of more squats. Repeat with bench. Then chin-ups, dips, and crunches.

Delicious Murdertown… Now days, what with my almost perpetual existential crisis, it really is the only thing that gets me out of my head. Lifting heavy and actually eating well are really the only things that can do it.

Also–for your amusement.

(They’re called “pull ups” for a reason, and I don’t think these yeyhoos are fulfilling the criteria implied by context clues. Crossfitters…sheesh.)

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