Silver Linings

I would be lying to say this week has not been a challenge. Monday was the worst–my roommate’s case of the flu was confirmed (poor thing) and I’ve been  staying at a friend’s house, one of my podcast co-hosts, D1. This was so I could sleep (our townhome’s walls are quite thin) and so I would not be infected.

My anxiety about getting the flu got so dastardly, I went to our health clinic to get a flu test done. I don’t have the flu. Yay! But, in my hasty celebration, I shove my wallet in my pocket. A couple hours later, when I cannot find it, I realize it’s gone–as in lost permanently.

No, this is not as bad as one of my favorite podcaster’s stories where he loses his bag which contains his passport, iPad, laptop, 3DS, and all his possessions in a crowded Tokyo train station at rush hour. No, it’s definitely not as as bad as that. And while that does make me feel better, it’s still problematic. I cancel all my cards, and realize that pretty much everything in there is replaceable, and keep going with my week.

The first silver lining to this whole debacle is that I start talking to D1’s new girl friend, R, on the phone while I was over at his house, and mildy tipsy on Tequila. She’s one of the sweetest, smartest people I’ve met in a long time. D1 is gaga, and who can blame him, honestly? Do you remember the last time you talked on the phone with a gal pal of yours for an hour and felt totally comfortable? I don’t. That may be because that’s never happened to me before, ever. I hope we can meet in person soon.

Another silver lining, unrelated to the flu and wallet thing, is that I pulled a 245 5×5 deadlift, followed by 275 for a triple. 275 is a PR, and considering I got it for three feels almost surreal. I was so focused on getting that weight, that I didn’t notice until I got home that it was my first time getting that, ever. But, I got it for three. Incredible. Couple of my PL guys put some great tweaks in my form and approach, and I think at this point, this lift is going to skyrocket.

Needless to say I’m sore. And I’m tired. Had an interesting talk last night with H. We really discussed some valuable things, and I think our relationship is only going to improve. While that cloud darkened the horizon of my mind for a while, the fact that we are enjoying the sun right now speaks to the potential longevity of our relationship. We’re going to start up our little tiny Book Club again, and I’ve picked the selection. My Risk, Policy, and Law class assigned the first two chapters of Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk, which sounds extremely dry, but I LOVED it.

Probably the best silver lining of all this week was that my faith in humanity was restored. Someone turned my wallet into the police station, and I got EVERYTHING back yesterday. It was in front of a building I never walk in front of. The world will never know on that one.

Last, but not least, here’s some great reading that’s been keeping me going this week:

“Why Don’t I Look Like Her? A Guide to Stop Comparing” I’m pretty bad about this, but I’m beginning to love my body for how I’ve improved and look. This was a pretty helpful read. I might have goals for my physique, but I’m starting to learn to love the process.

“Taking Care of Yourself When You Feel Like Shutting Down” This got me through Monday. Self care is paramount, and no amount of self flagellation will return a wallet to you.

“Get Your Hair Wet Activity” I love this idea! I really want to do it. It’s kind of like a love letter to yourself almost. Here’s from the site:

“A creative way to catalog all the upcoming adventures you’ll have is to keep them safe and tidy in a decorated mason jar. Each time you get out of your comfort zone or try something new, write it down on a strip of paper place it inside your jar. You can even color-code your memories — red for a time you spoke up, blue for a time you faced your fears, purple for learning a new skill — you get the idea! At the end of the year you can empty out the memories and bask it all the ways you got your hair wet and feel proud to be you.

I love that proud to be me part. I am learning how to be, slowly.

First Full Week of 2015 (1/52 Week Yoga Challenge)

Happy Sunday Funday, dear readers!

I have been meaning to write this entry for awhile. Lot has happened in the short time we have been in 2015!

As you recall, this past week was my full first week back to work. This coming Monday, I’ve got school on top of it. Depending upon my tuition waiver (which may have a full time requirement), I’ll be one or two classes. Tomorrow, regardless of money though, will be my first day of Organization Theory. I’m rather excited for the course, although not so much the 8-5 work schedule followed by a class 6:30-9:20. Scratch that, 7:15 to 5. Why?

This first full week, we have free opportunities to try out the Fit/Rec center classes. Morning yoga will be a wonderful experience, I’m just certain of it. The earliness of 7:15 will not. On the bright side, if I have to sit all day and don’t have the time to lift, this will make my tight-hipped body feel much better.

Speaking of yoga, just in case you thought I forgot–

When you see this, you know I did my part for the week!

On week one of fifty-tw0, I went above and beyond my requirements! To ease myself back into doing yoga solo, I did this restorative sequence from the December 2014 issue of Yoga Journal. I lit some soothing  candles, and improvised in my room. I don’t have bolsters, just giant euro-sham pillows. I don’t have a block either, but I use my thrifted Poe anthology.

It’s seriously the perfect size.

I followed the instructions and took an hour to do this. The legs up the wall pose felt insanely good on my hips, which have been more tight than usual because of my 40+ hour work week.

The next day, I suggested to my roomie J that we do one of her Denise Austin videos. She suggested the “Fat Blasting Yoga.” Denise Austin is pretty early 2000s hokey and tries to turn yoga into aerobics , BUT she did a Sun Salutation vinyasa flow sequence throughout, and reminded everyone the importance of alignment constantly. I’d say a good 20 minutes were mostly performing flow sequences with modifications. I felt yoga-worked afterwards, if that makes sense. But, I am aware of the lack of training that she has, so if I need to use a yoga video to fulfill my yoga week requirements, I’ll stick to Rodney Yee tapes.

Overall, I am pleased with my performance. While I don’t have roll-over credit for this yoga scheme I’m doing, the fact I’ve done two more 30 minute chunks of yoga during week one is great!

Three more tidbits relating to this week. I have been in correspondence with Proud2Bme, an initiative of the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), which focuses on “building a nation where confidence rules”. It’s the place where I discovered Kate and her wonderful blog PB is Better than ED (a must-read for anyone alive on the planet). Kate, when I reached out to her, suggested I write for them as she has done in the past. Long story short, I have been accepted as an author for P2Bm! My first article is due January 30.

Basically, I am going to tell the story that I’ve been telling here for years–learning how to love my body through weightlifting. Telling this story on a public forum that will have my name attached is scary. It is scary, also, considering the fact that many of my friends and family will learn of my struggle. I know it has a happy ending because, hell, I’m living it. But the intimidation factor is huge.

Another tidbit is related to policy making in OK! I learned recently that a state legislator who I’ve known for a long time is coauthoring a bill about texting and driving. This is the “in” I’ve been wanting to have. He requested to read my policy analysis that I wrote on this topic for my first policy class this past fall. I hope it’s thorough enough for his needs. He’ll at least read the most important article, from which a lot of my content derives. I’ll keep you posted on that one.

Lastly, as I was cleaning my room today, I watched the Director’s cut of Clive Barker’s Nightbreed (1990) for GTGC. The beginning for me was challenging to get into (depictions of mental illness in media trigger some of my own anxieties), I enjoyed most of the film. The effects were delightfully gross out, not unlike John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). It didn’t drag like other 120 minuters I’ve seen. Craig Sheffer was very hot in this movie, and Cronenberg played creepy as if he didn’t know how to exist any other way.

It is LITERALLY as crazy as the poster looks.

Today, in my analysis, I’m going to justify why this film counts as a magical realism text. This is more of a formalist reading for me, but I feel like it deserves it. My other cohosts are going to talk about “Othering” and the AIDS epidemic of the 20th century. This episode should drop within the next week.

If you want to go waste an hour and a half, you can watch The Last Stand (with Arnie, love of my life) and listen to last week’s episode. Episode is definitely worth it though, so check them out.

Now I’m curious, how was your first week of 2015?

Let’s see if you can squat your way out of this one (part 2): Sunday

The reason why this series of posts are entitled “Let’s see if you can squat your way out of this one” is because on Sunday the greatest thing happened.

I got my mom to let me show her how to lift.

We went to her local community center and into the weight room, which was well stocked for how shabby it looked on the outside. I got some recommendations from H on what to show her and, of course, he responded with the typical ex-/fit”Do ss faggot”, which is a prominent meme on the ‘chan.

However, more true advice was never said. Keep in mind, I’m not a personal trainer by any means. I’ve really only started lifting again, this time seriously, since January and off-and-on for about a year. H was right though whenever he said helping someone else with their lifts helps your own form.

My mom has great form and understands the principles of breathing already (which was and is half the battle with me). Some things I would say to her she would respond to with “Oh, well, I figured that out.” She really is a natural with this.

My mom keeps on wanting to lose that stubborn extra five pounds that she’s gained since dating C and I don’t think she understands that just being a cardiobunny is going to make her drop that weight.

Maybe if she just lifted heavy once a week? Once a week, with weights going up. My thing is, as I was saying to H last night, lifting seriously doesn’t seem like something you can be too casual with. Or maybe you can, but I just haven’t discovered how yet.

But, just for form purposes, this is what I had mom do (all with bar weight):

3×5 squats

3×5 ohp

1×5 dead lift

3×5 bench

1×5 row

Anyone have any suggestions for motivating her to trying it more consistently? H said mentioning weight would and should be motivation enough but it really never is. I know my own mother. She’s a hard worker but it takes her getting her to want it first.

So besides doing demo lifts on this day, I still needed to catch up on my vanity day (abs…always abs) which consisted of 5×20 crunch and leg extensions. Mum and I then went to play basketball for awhile. After that, we traveled to Whole Foods and got brunch, went to Barnes and Noble, then she took me back to my town.

We also “Sherlock”ed that night, which was wonderful. H really liked it and I cannot wait for next week’s episode.

Work Bingo

eat moar…shoot, on the tip of my tongue… errr…

I work at the most glorious of fast food eateries–Chic-fil-A. While not as mentally dehabilitating as other fast food restaurants, it still is rather soul crushing.

I hate suggestive selling. I hate suggestive selling food I know is bad for people because it is “not an option” (direct quote from manager).

I hate suggestive selling to children, especially if I am asking to “upsize their combo.” I try to avoid it as much as I can, but sometimes it slips out before I can stop myself.

“Would you like to upsize your fries for just 20 cents extra?”

“Would you like to try one of our new hot chocolate chip cookies for a little over a dollar?”

H and I have discussed that they should make a Starbucks bingo card to make the shifts less monotonous. I think I’m going to do the same for Chic-fil-A. Criteria for work-bingo is that you have to include things that happen frequently, but not overkill. The free-space would be something that happens every day (probably “Customer buys an original Chic-fil-A sandwich”).

Bingo card spaces so far:

• Customer reacts to a request to upsize with something along the lines of “sure, why not?!”
• Customer orders either grilled nuggets or fruit for their child’s kids meal and a full calorie soda for the drink
• Customer orders a chicken filet instead of a “real” menu item.
• Customer orders a combo meal, then asks for a water cup, not a bottled water.
• Customer asks to hear all the dipping sauces read to them even though it is printed on the menu.
• Customer asks for a discontinued item or asks if we still have ____ (such as Chicken Tortilla Soup or Sweet Potato Fries).
• Customer asks if an original Chic-fil-A sandwich is available in a kid’s meal option.
• Customer asks for no whipped cream on their shake but still wants the cherry (which looks really stupid).
• D asks me to clean under the sink because I’m apparently the only one who ever does that.
• Customer stacks 2+ coupons to get a super discounted meal.
• An OC student tries to pay with meal plan points, even though the semester is over.
• Customer’s order is so expensive that I have to ask them to sign a credit card receipt.
• R comes in and orders for his wife.
• J comes in and orders a water cup, Chick-fil-A sandwich substituted with a coleslaw and a small diet coke.
• Old people ask for the senior drink discount.
• I have to ask for change because someone paid with something that I cannot give change back with five dollar bills.
• We are late making food for a catering order (honestly, this should be the free space).
• There is a stack of trays as high as the front counter cabinets.
• Someone in workout clothes orders a Poweraide (like it’s part of the uniform).

Those are essentially the ones I’d include. I need to make a table of this before I go to work, stat.

Oh, and in regards to squat day, it was delicious. H keeps on trying to get me to squat the low-bar form, but it hurts my shoulders too much for me to do it comfortably without dropping it. He has a much larger back than I do so anything over 100 lbs (which is a little less than half my squat on our 3 week of 5/3/1) I can’t handle. Which is unfortunate, because it seems like my squats are easier to line up with that form.

I think I’m also ODing on cottage cheese. It seems like every time I eat it now it murders my stomach. I’m tired of having to take Tums after every time I eat. I probably need to get more greens in my diet in general.

Stuffed Crust

Just...stuffed.

For starters, it is only barely ten A.M. and I would shove this pizza in my face. As much as I love traditional breakfast food, I would and could eat just about anything for breakfast. And believe me, I have. Leftover chimichanga? Probably not my best decision, but that didn’t stop me.

Unfortunately, my previously iron stomach has been simply eating itself  lately as I’ve been having to take two to three servings of Tums per day, typically after meals. Okay, I definitely derailed my train of thought there. I don’t just post about stuffed crust pizza in my blog, regardless of how delicious it looks.

I just wanted to let the world know about a brand new use of the word “stuffed crust.”

Stuffed crust is the word H and I use for our aesthetics in a certain department–specifically legs. Examine the picture again.

Now think of veiny, muscle laden legs with a smidge of padding on them from your post-bulk season. Similarities?

Murdertown just stuffs my crust. Yesterday was the beginning of our “3” week from 5/3/1 model and, more specifically, front squats. The ball joints in my hips will probably never be the same from this.

Besides our FS, on our workout plate we had presses, dumbbell rows, shoulder presses, and sit ups.

Unfortunately for my workout, I had a serious difficulty getting out of my own head until about the last set of my dumbbell rows.  This is due to the fact that there was some resolution to some ex-boyfriend drama and I’m still quite unsure about how I feel about the whole situation. I had been harboring this dead weight of guilt for how things turned out for so long that I didn’t know how to manage with that burden gone…therefore my generalized anxiety got pretty cranked.

But you know what? It is going to be okay.

I have to remember that.

Also, regular squats on Wednesday (tomorrow). My legs will go from stuffed crust to stuffed cheesy bread. You know the monstrous creation. Domino’s developed it, essentially guaranteeing that one could overdose with cheese.

Overdose on squats? Yes please.